Shock to the System

Now I'm back home, all unpacked (slightly) and I've had a good old soak in the bath, all I can say is that I miss it.
I miss Tanzania.
I miss Peace Matunda.
I miss Itchi (the stray dog).
I miss the piki piki’s and the tuc tuc’s.
I miss the dust that was permanently on my shoes.
I miss the smiling faces every time I walked in a room.
And I miss the kids like nothing I've ever missed before.

In the last few days out there I felt home sick; so much so that I cried, whereas now that I’m home, with all the luxuries I was so used to before, I miss how simple life was out there, and how much joy one person could bring with something that seemed so insignificant. I don’t dislike people here for being how we all are, myself included, I just wish there was a way I could show people that there is more to life that what we know here at home.


Before I left, I watched this video on Shaun’s blog (the volunteer coordinator out there) and it was a lovely video to watch. It made me excited to go out there and see it all for myself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUDfl3PPTuU

When I got back, I watched it again, and this time, instead of laughing and giggling along with the kids, I cried all the way through… with a huge grin on my face! Now, I know every single one of those kids, they each have a place in my heart and I’ll miss each and every one of them.

Keep an eye out for some plans I have up my sleeve :)

1st Nov 4:00pm

Hello England. I’m home!

1st Nov 8:20am

In the airport, I struck up a conversation with an English looking man sat near me. We had the same flight to Nairobi and then onto Amsterdam. I spent the whole flight chatting to him. He had just climbed Kili and was heading home to Birmingham to his wife and two kids. I liked talking to him because it made the flight seem so much shorter.

We got onto the subject of Kili because I asked the air hostess which mountain either side of the plane was Kili. And it just so happened it was the one on my side – conveniently, the side with the sun rise too,

Needless to say I took lots of pictures.

I’m on the Amsterdam flight now, waiting to take off. I appear to be sat next to a foreign woman who is either drunk lost or incompetent.

God help us all for the rest of the flight.

1st Nov 3am

I’m Kili airport, its dead! Check in isn’t open until 4:30am, guess I over compensated on time. Oh well.

1st Nov 1:40am

I can’t sleep at all, so I just got up and stripped my bed, packed all my loose stuff and went to sit in the main room.

I was absolutely shitting myself for the whole 50 minutes waiting for Kanali, because there were dogs or wolves or something really close by. Also the doors weren’t locked, I had to open the inside one to listen for Kanali, but the 2^nd gate type door wasn’t locked.

1st Nov 12:10pm

The woman sat next to me is picking her feet.

I’m used to it now.

1st Nov Time - unknown

This flight feels so long! I’ve slept a bit, watched 2 films whose names I don’t know. Looked at my photos. Over heated. Shivered. Ate. Felt sick. Been to the loo, in only socks – bad ass, and read a magazine.

I intend to do some school work, but it’s just not going to happen. I’m so tired and yet I can’t sleep. Wish me luck.

31st Oct 11:40pm

This evening I just sat with the kids all night, watching their gospel music videos and cuddling them. At about half 8 I went around and said goodbye to everyone, it was quite upsetting, I’m going to miss each and every one so much!

Margaret took my email, so hopefully she can keep in touch a bit, but I’m not sure where the orphanage kids would get internet from. I got into bed and started to cry. Now after all my wanting to go home, I wish I could stay.

I couldn’t sleep so I put my iPod on and Shakira – gypsy, came on, it related to my trip so much I cried all over again.

31st Oct 5:40pm

When I went back down the children were still doing exams, so I came back to the house and played with Amanda, she struggled to eat dinner, so we played the aeroplane game again. She finished every last bit.

Once the older girls finished school I took a few of them to buy the sodas Tom had promised to buy them. Or some reason the shop was shut, so we went to one further down. I didn’t realise but there are shops all over.

We got back to Amani house and I spent some time with all the kids watching 101 Dalmatians and then a group outside on the steps just wanted to cuddle. We played jump rope games and then I decided I should probably go so the mommas could let them nap.

After I had gotton my things organised I went to see Stephen, who wasn’t feeling too well still. He was sleepy and coughing so I sat and rocked him to sleep, he’s so tiny in my arms, and it seemed to work because he perked up loads after that.

I just got back from helping the mommas and some of the standard 4 girls peel potatoes, it took forever to peel enough potatoes for all the kids in the orphanage and some of the girls were using huge ‘murderers knives’ top cut with.

One thing I forgot to mention from yesterday was the sky. I went outside around 8:30pm to see if the kids were still up (they weren’t) but I stayed outside laid on an old bench staring at the night sky; it was so clear and the stars were so brings. Truly beautiful.

I just laid there letting my eyes get accustomed to the dark. The longer I stayed to more stars appeared. I loved it.

I also walked Pamela home to say goodbye, and I saw Calvin too, he gave me a massive hug and said he would miss me a lot. I’ll miss them both too.

31st Oct 12:20pm

At 10:30am I went to porridge, and with Margaret’s help, handed out the solar lamps, the children were so excited. I took photos with each of them and showed them how they work. At porridge I sat with the children and asked about their exams and watched them playing football. Whenever I have my camera the children always want pictures with me!

Soon I’m going back down to the school to see if the children are done with their exams.

I would normally have dinner but I feel so unwell I don’t think I should eat anything. Just sip my yummy boiled, then cooled, water. Ahem.

31st Oct 8:50am

This morning, I went to assembly and took some videos of the children singing and dancing. I was shocked to see the children having their nails checked. If they had dirty nails they were sent to the steps and scolded.

I felt so guilty because my nails are so black. When we did the blackboards I tried to wash the brushed out with water and soap in my hands. BIG MISTAKE.  It turned my hands and nails black and made an oil slick. We used kerosene to clean up after that.

I intended to go help out in lessons since it’s my last day! But all the children have exams again this morning, even baby class., so I’m going to pack and do some of my own school work.

30th Oct 10:50pm

I am about to go to sleep, there is nothing to do, the kids are in bed ready for school tomorrow, the mommas are busy and there are no other volunteers.

I just wanted to write because there are a few things I was thinking about that I don’t think I’ve mentioned the first… The children have books to write in; but it’s just paper wrapped in newspaper à they have all backed their books with newspaper. It first I wondered why they had brought a bag full of newspapers to school! Haha!

The second… I’ve seen so many monkeys its untrue, I keep trying to take a photo but I never have my camera! There was a really big one yesterday jumping and swinging from tree to tree, I will try and get a photo because there are pretty cool.

I also saw a bush baby, there quite small actually.

                           

30th Oct 7:40 pm

After dinner I went to the waterfall with Alex and Lovein, two of the boys from the orphanage. I figured it wouldn’t be far if the boys were allowed to go. Boy was I wrong?

We walked for about an hour and a bit. Now I’ve done d of e gold, twice. I’m a tough cookie, but the heat, the dust, the sheer height we climbed left me so sweaty, my heart was racing in my head and my thighs were spasming. I looked over at Lovein and Alex who were running up the hill in flip flops! I had walking boots on and I was struggling.

It was so worth the throbbing in my head and legs, once we got to the water fall. It was spectacular, the water was so clear and it was so high there was a breeze (which helped the overheating situation)

I can’t explain how beautiful it was, when you looked up it felt like an age until you saw blue sky.

Once we got back (which was much easier downhill) I guzzled a load of water and then went to find Calvin, one of the boys who is getting a solar lamp.

I found him explained how it worked and he just threw his arms around me, thanking me over and over. It was nice to see true gratitude. Some of the children become greedy when it comes to sweets or stationary.

30th Oct 2:10pm

At dinner Amanda and Stephen were both poorly, so to get them to eat something, we played the aeroplane game.

Neeuuuummm!!            ✈

30th Oct 12:40pm

I went to get the paint for the black boards after my picture spree ad the paintbrushes seem to have gone, so one coat will have to do. If they turn up Kristina can continue the project since she is here for a lot longer than all of us.

Instead I went to the orphanage to see all the kids, I’m spending as much time with them as possible before I go. I took some pencils down which I handed out and some skipping ropes which the girls and the boys loved!

Margaret got some paper out and I drew with a group of them. Drawing around objects and writing what they were, that sort of thing. Then I read with little Unis and Adita, we read a book about a spoilt little girl called Rebecca royal and a poem/limerick book which they found hilarious.

I got out my camera and everyone seemed to want a picture, so we were snapping photos of everyone. When I went outside to sit in the sun, I found Margaret playing with a dismantled weighing scale. My good deed of the day was to take out the capacitors, because they store charge for quite a while. My original thought was, ‘the metal is sharp, put the whole thing in the bin.’ But let’s face it, these kids walk around holding machetes with no handle, ready to chop up plants and food.

30th Oct 9:00am

I got up so early this morning, I just couldn’t sleep. Everyone had left already, Kristina wrote me a letter before she left, which made me cry, she seemed so proud of me and I’ve only known her a few week. I can’t read the letter again or I will get upset, but it’s so lovely of her to do that!

I finished off all the Swahili instructions and boxed all the lamps up. The room looks much more tidy now the lamps aren’t all over the floor.

I quickly went and took pictures of Peace Matunda, the orphanage grounds, and where I am staying, because I want to remember what it looks like forever.

The Volunteers Seating area

Amani House at Night



Broken Swings Behind the School



The Massia Hut

The Old Peace Matunda Huts and Kayaa's House

Volunteers Dining Table

The Hallway to Our Room



My Bed



Lucy's Wall Murals



Largest Boys Room




Boys Room

Amani House Living Room

Wall Mural Outside Amani House

Vegetable Garden

30th Oct 3:30am

I cannot sleep, the cockerel is making a right racket, and I think there is a bush baby outside my window which would be cute if it wasn’t so friggin early.

29th Oct 9:50pm

Tonight was my last night with Tom, Megan and Kristina because Tom is going home early tomorrow morning and Megan and Kristina leave for Zanzibar and Dar (Dar es Salaam) early tomorrow too.

We all spent some time with Stephen and Amanda playing games and cuddling them. They are both 3 so they fall asleep on us all the time which is so sweet.

Me Tom and Megan went down to the orphanage to give out some sweets and me to hand out the books I bought earlier this week. The kids all loved reading the books with us, and looking at the pictures. They all said they would miss Tom. It was really sad actually, Tom was clearly sad to be leaving, and the children didn’t show it too much but you could tell they were sad to see him leave. We danced to the music that was playing for a while and I learnt the dance moves for a funny song they all seemed to know, It got late so we sat and cuddled about 6 kids each and then the mommas wanted us to leave so they could put the kids to bed,

While everyone else was packing to leave I tidied up the room, like mother like daughter is all I can say.

We all went down the track about 10 meters to a banana beer place; apparently banana beer has a similar consistency to sick, so you can imagine my relief when all that was available was banana wine. It was awful! Truly awful! And so it should be, it cost about 9 pence. No one finished their bottle; god knows who drank it because it disappeared later on.

When Tom and I got back to peace Matunda, Matika the Massia guard as there and we asked to see his bow and arrow; it was so huge, and the string was too tight for me to move more than 5 cm. The arrows were poison arrows!

We all said goodbye and I was so sad to see them leave, they taught me so much about Peace Matunda, I will miss all 3 of them loads the next 2 days especially.